December's funniest porn titles

First up, the winning film of November's Funniest Porn Titles is 'Vault of Whores'.
Thanks to Julia for her vote.
The rest of you suck!

Now for this month's funniest titles, yep turns out I get these catalogues monthly. Who really needs that much porn?!?!

Apologies for the delay, it's been a busy month.

In no particular order...

'Good Whores Take It In The Ass'.
Guess that makes me a bad whore, then.

'The Ole' In And Out'
Wink, wink, nudge, nudge, say no more.

'Crack Her Jack 5'
Err, I don't think there's anyone called Jack in this.

'I Only Love White Panties'
It stars Ionee Luvcoxxx.
Cocks and white panties, hooray!

'Fluff and Fold'
About a fart fetish, perhaps?


Now vote fools! Please.

Oh and for those sci-fi fans out there, Porn Wars Episode II is out. Cum Join the Force.

Queer Queensland

I'd like to share some of my initial observations of Queensland.
Andy's friend said it's "ten years and one hour" behind the rest of Australia. I didn't really observe anything that was a decade behind but did note some oddities.
We were only there for three days and spent our time in the Logan Shire, about 30 minutes from Brisbane CBD, so my thoughts are probably not generalisable.

- There are lots of bogans. I mean LOTS. I think I've been sheltered. There's also lots of Islanders and Police.

- There are, like, no flies.

- For stage four water restrictions, it's really freakin' green!

- The sun comes up at four am. WASSUPWITDAT?!?!

- There are not many 'registered club' (e.g The Labour Club, The Tradies, The Hellenic Club). There are a few R.S.Ls, however the substitute of the registered club appears to be the 'hotel'. These establishments have the same facilities as the registered club: meals; pokies; pool tables; sports bars etc.

- It's perfectly acceptable to change lanes in the middle of a roundabout without indicating.

- Real estate agents drive Commodores.

- Apparently ordering 'squash/lemon squash' confuses the bar staff. You have to order 'Lift' or 'Solo'.

I'm sure once I move I'll have more observations to add, if I'm not traumatised by all the oddness.


"Well if you're not going to talk to me I'm going to talk to my orange" - Adam (my 14-year-old brother).

A hunting we will go

Andy and I spent Thursday, Friday and Saturday househunting in Queensland. We looked at a number of houses in the Logan Shire, about 30 minutes from Brisbane.

I am proud to announce Andy has purchased a house in the suburb of Waterford West.

This is the house:



The advertisement for the house can be viewed here, with the real estate agent's photos here.

It has a huge backyard which we can put a pool in or, with council approval, sell that half of the block.



The yard is already dog proof, as the previous owners have two dogs. This makes things easier for me, reducing the amount of preparation I have to do when I'm ready to purchase a dog.

There is a snazzy bar downstairs which opens up to an area which we're going to add some shade to to make a patio.





The main bedroom is purple! My office is pink and orange.
Incredibly cute.



The laundry is really spiffy.



I'm also rather fond of the patio that can be accessed via the loungeroom or the main bedroom.



The blinds and curtains are staying which makes life a bit easier for us. I like the wooden blinds too. You can kinda see them here on the side of the loungeroom.



The house is near numerous shopping centres including walking distance to one smallish centre. Also in walking distance is KFC, Red Rooster, Blockbuster video, two servos, two chemists and the bestest darn little fish and chip shop. $1.80 buys a serve of chips that would cost about $3.00 in Canberra.

This is Bill, our friendly real estate agent.



We were able to settle for comfortably less than the advertised sale price. We shall be receiving the keys on January 25. Based on this we will probably leave Canberra on the 24th.

I'm hoping to organise the farewell party for Saturday January 13. Those who know me, get in touch for the details if you don't have them by the first week of January.

I'm terribly excited and feel like I have a million things today between now and when we leave.

Oh! I should probably mention I also received a scholarship offer from the University of Queensland. It has a condition I don't quite understand but if I meet that condition I shall be attending that University and studying under Dr Fiona Nicoll, author of From Diggers to Dragqueens.

I told my brother today of the plans to leave Canberra. He handled it pretty well. I hope mum handles it just as well.

That's about all for now.

"Well if you're not going to talk to me I'm going to talk to my orange" - Adam (my 14-year-old brother).

Dear Scholarship Applicant...

Dear Scholarship Applicant

I am pleased to advise that you have been made a scholarship offer in the first round postgraduate awards at Queensland University of Technology for 2007!



WOOOO HOOO!!!

My Gran has also just offered to pay for me to go up to Brissie with Andy to look at houses with him when he goes up on the 14th of December.

Just got of the phone to Andy, he sounds super excited that
a) I got the offer and
b) I'm going up to look at houses with him.

If I get an offer from University of Queensland before I accept this one I may decide to go there but either way, I guess I'm moving to QLD.

Hoorah! and stuff!

"Well if you're not going to talk to me I'm going to talk to my orange" - Adam (my 14-year-old brother).

Note to self

Note to self:
1) While Rice Bran Oil may have a high burning point, chilli does NOT.

2) Leaving books, such as those titled Public Sex: The Culture of Radical Sex, out for Grandfathers to see may result in frightened Grandfathers.
p.s Great book - read it!

The flu is most boring

Being sick sucks!
My body needs to sleep but my brain is going nutty. I've a bunch of errands that need to be done and no frozen meals left Too sick to cook, but not sick enough to not be hungry.

I'm soooo bored but soooo achy and weak. This is also the time when living alone is most awful.

At least I'm saving petrol, right?!?!


Thankyou all for your well-wishes re my honours :D


"Well if you're not going to talk to me I'm going to talk to my orange" - Adam (my 14-year-old brother).